in association with
ACM @ UIUC
NORMAL VIEW 2:
July 11-13, 2003
A Weekend-long celebration of some of the
most sucktacular movies of all time
Come for one film, stay for them all! (please?) Note that these are not
movies for watching, these are movies for mocking. Loudly.
- Friday, Jul. 11
- 7pm - 7:30pm: Introduction and Tutorial
- A gentle introduction to the fine art of making fun of stupid movies,
featuring footage from "Fighting Duel of Death" (Nominated for zero
- 7:30pm - 8:00pm: Shorts
- Now that we've completely confused you, let the professionals show
you how it's done; featuring short film(s) mocked by the cast of
Mystery Science Theater 3000.
- 8:00 pm - 10pm: Feature: Slipstream
- (Digitally Enhanced Special Edition!)
- (a.k.a, The Mark Hamill Time Travel film that ISN'T Time Runner)
- The training wheels are off: now unable to lean on the talent of
the MST3K crew, participants are stripped to their underwear
(metaphorically speaking) and left to fend for themselves in the
vast untamed post-apocolyptic wilderness of Friday's Feature
Presentation: "Slipstream". The only way you're getting out sane
is if you learn to swim. Fast. (Did we mention the rip-tide?)
- ~10:30pm - 12:00am: Bonus Feature: Dragon Connection
- Enjoy (well, watch) the low budget, crappy telecine and strangely
compelling soundtrack of this Weapons Grade Chinese Kung-Fu flick.
- Saturday, Jul. 12
- 1:00pm - 3:00pm: Dust to Dust
- What happens when a low budget filmmaker tries to make a civil-war
western flick on video? We don't want to know either, but we're
going to find out. Featuring the rich musical stylings of a casio
- 3:00pm - 5:00pm: Beast Master 2: Through the Portal of Time
- Some guy masters some beasts. He's done this before, apparently.
- 5:00pm - 7:00pm: Breakin' 2: Electic Boogaloo
- I have no idea what this film is about, but it doesn't matter:
it's got "Electric Boogaloo" in its title!
- 7:00pm - 8:00pm: Dinner Break
- To replenish all of your sapped precious bodily fluids.
- 8:00pm - 10:00pm: Golden Munchie Classic: Sinbad of the Seven Seas
- You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll thrill to the climatic battle on
the Moon; Sinbad of the Seven Seas traipses about the globe in
a strange ship with a strange crew wearing way too little in the
form of clothing. And please don't ask us how he gets to the moon.
We really have no idea.
- Sunday, Jul. 13
- 3:30pm - 5:00pm: Final Exam and Denoument
- High off our mocking successes of the past two days, we will journey
out in public to the Savoy Theater to mock a matinee performance
of that high budget wreck of an animated picture, Sinbad: Legend of the
Seven Seas. Don't worry, the worst they can do is ask us to leave.
(You'll have to fork out the cash for the ticket. I spent my entire
allowance on hamdingers.)
SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: THE SURGEON GENERAL HAS DETERMINED THAT EXPOSURE
TO CRAPPY MOVIES CAN CAUSE INSANITY, ENNUI, SPONTANIOUS CRANIUM FRACTURE,
RENAL FAILURE AND LOSS OF TRACTION. NOT FOR USE BY CHILDREN UNDER 12,
PREGNENT WOMEN AND THOSE WITH HEAD, NECK OR BACK CONDITIONS. SINCE GUESTS
WILL BE TRANSPORTED THE FURTHEST REGIONS OF OUR SOLAR SYSTEM, THIS RIDE IS
NOT RECOMMENDED FOR THOSE WHO EXPERIENCE ANXIETY IN DARK, NARROW OR ENCLOSED
SPACES. NOT APPROVED FOR SALE IN ALASKA, HAWAI'I OR THE ALUETIAN ISLANDS.