Short Pier Productions proudly presents



April 1-3, 2005

From the furthest, darkest corners of the universe they came... Seven movies thought to be unwatchable. Seven films that could only be birthed in the creative vacuum. But they have seen our transmissions, they have watched our films. They have seethed in jealousy. And they are coming.

And all that stands in their way are a few brave souls who have gathered to destroy these monstrosities. A ragtag group of heroes who have gathered under one banner to save us all:


Come join us in heckling these awful, awful films -- you'll be joining the ranks of Crow, Tom Servo, Joel, Mike and the directors' mothers.

Ok, not really. But they'll be there in spirit.

Normal View: when movies bite, we bite back.

Official schedule:

Friday, Apr. 1
7:00pm: Robot Monster
Yes, the MST guys already did this one. It was a first season episode and you haven't seen it anyway. And there was a reason they picked it, you know. The leader of the aliens has to wear a Jacques Cousteau helmet over his ape suit, because apparently he lives in a carwash.
9:00pm: Leprechaun 4: In Space
By this point, any pretense of being a horror film has worn off -- what that leaves us with I'm not entirely sure. But at least they kept the most important part of any horror film: the scantily clad ladies.
Saturday, Apr. 2
1:00pm: Warlock: the Armageddon
I can only assume that the "script" of this one was a cocktail napkin with the words "Druids + Satan = Warlock" on it under several sets of drink stains. And the first draft probably had Freemasons.
3:00pm: Space Warriors Baldios
Our feature presentation at NormalView: Anime Edition and our first animated feature at NormalView proper. Brian will be sitting through this for the third time, and wanted all of you to know he is NOT HAPPY.
5:00pm: Dinner Break
7:00pm: Golden Munchie Classic: Wing Commander
"Can we make the cat guys look like rubber lizards?"
"Only if I get to make the spaceships operate on sonar."
9:00pm: Golden Munchie Inductee: Doc Savage: The Man of Bronze
He's smarter than the average goon
He loves to march to Sousa tunes
His sidekicks know that he's the best
Because he always bares his chest
Sunday, Apr. 3
1:00pm: Viewer's Choice
A smorgasbord of torture for your viewing displeasure. Because the only thing worse than watching crap is being outvoted and having to watch someone else's crap.
The viewer's choice was ... Alien Apocalypse, a Sci-Fi Channel original movie that featured Bruce Campbell out-witting and out-quipping the proprietors of an intergalactic Home Depot.

Exact location information will be posted ASAP. This offer is not available in Arkansas, New Hampshire, or XXXL. Viewer discretion is advised; void in the bathroom like every other civilized person.