Short Pier Productions proudly presents
NORMAL VIEW V:
V IS FOR FIVE
March 31 - April 2, 2006
Good evening, Champaign-Urbana. It is the thirty-first of
the third, and this is the Voice of Fate broadcasting to
you from the Siebel Center on the medium band. Citizens are
advised that Storm Saxon will be delayed throughout the
weekend to bring you the following selection of classic
films approved by the Ministry of Information...
NORMALVIEW V:
V IS FOR FIVE
Yes, it's that time of year again-- when we take up arms
against a sea of crappy movies and heckle them until we
can't breathe. Come join us for a slice of improvisation,
laughter and horror in the style of MST3K as we direct our
verbal violence with valor and verve versus the most vile
and vacuous films we can view.
- Friday, March 31st (2405 Siebel)
- 7:00 PM: Queen of Outer Space
- As we've learned in previous festivals, Mars features angry
red dinosaurs and angry red oxygen consumption gauges.
Venus, however, has Zsa Zsa Gabor. Ever wonder what Amazon
Women on the Moon was making fun of? Now you know.
- 9:00 PM: The Creeps
- From the people who brought you Scanners and Crash and Burn
comes this heartwarming tale of lovable midgets: namely,
midget Frankenstein, midget Wolfman, midget Dracula... Need
I say more?
- Saturday, April 1st (4403 Siebel)
- 1:00 PM: Sword and Sorcerer
- If a sword is a phallic symbol, then what's a three-pronged
sword that shoots rockets? Maybe a symbol that the effects
department is trying too hard.
- 3:00 PM: Double Dragon
- Even the combined might of Robert Patrick, Paul Dini,
George Hamilton, Andy Dick, Vanna White, and Alyssa Milano
will not be enough to save this one. Are you a bad enough
dude to sit through this movie?
- 7:00 PM: Golden Munchie Showcase: Batman and Robin
- Sean has a confession to make. He watched this movie once,
and in his weakness has stayed away from it ever since.
Help Sean finally conquer Arnold Schwarzenegger by
thoroughly roasting the worst film in the Bat-franchise.
- 9:00 PM: War of the Planets
- What do you get if you mix independent filmmaking, computer
technology, and 50s-style science fiction? Apparently,
space sasquatch. This one is not to be missed, folks.
- Sunday, April 2nd (4403 Siebel)
- 2:00 PM: Viewer's Choice
- Continuing the grand tradition of last year, YOU bring the
movies, YOU vote for the movies, then YOU suffer the
consequences.
- The Viewers' Choice was: Day the World Ended, featuring
the Professor from Queen of Space learning why you don't
let a gangster into your bomb shelter.
Also, as a special treat, we'll be showing segments of R.
Kelly's Trapped in the Closet between films. Marvel at this
masterpiece of modern musical storytelling.
To follow the intricate plot of Trapped, Normal View is
pleased to bring you this handy flowchart that was created over the
weekend as characters and plot twists were revealed:
Click for a larger version.
"Audiences should not be afraid of their movies. Movies
should be afraid of their audiences."
Chambana prevails.