NORMAL VIEW VI:

Ladies and gentlemen, we are at war-- a war for the very standards of entertainment. Our enemies are well-armed with sequels, remakes, and mindless comedies. They think to bury us in tripe, to force-feed it to us until we submit. And they are winning. Intelligent men and women are buying tickets for Norbit, because they have forgotten how to fight back.

I say it is time for them to remember. I say it is time for us to fight back. I say it is time... to heckle.

NORMALVIEW 6: VIEW OR DIE

Short Pier Productions proudly presents the sixth installment of NormalView, our very own bad movie festival in the style of Mystery Science Theater. Come watch some of the very worst movies of all time with us--and make fun of them. The whole audience will be participating in this uncensored, unscripted, totally improvised heckle-fest.

All films will be shown in room 4405 on the fourth floor of Siebel Center. The building is located at 201 N. Goodwin Avenue in Urbana, only one building down from a convenient parking lot. You can bring food as long as you clean up after yourself, and caffeine is strongly recommended.

The Schedule:

Friday, March 30th

7:00 PM: Dinosaurus!

Answering the long-held evolutionary question of who would win in a fight: rubbery plasticine dinosaurs or woodenly acted racial stereotypes? Comedic interludes will be cheerfully provided by a caveman in a dress.

9:00 PM: Stealth

Someone obviously decided to try and combine 2001: A Space Odyssey, Top Gun, and Beach Blanket Bingo. I'll give you three guesses what happens to the black guy.

Saturday, March 31st

1:00 PM: Saturday Afternoon Cartoons: Psychic Force & Panzer Dragoon

Once again poaching shamelessly from NormalView: Anime Edition, we bring you Panzer Dragoon and Psychic Force-- anime so bad the IMDB doesn't list them. They're both based on video games. Need I say more?

3:00 PM: Awfully 80s: Teen Witch

Way back in NormalView 2, we showed Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo. Since then, I've had many requests to show more tragically dated movies from the 80s, but I made a vow never to play another one until I found one that could actually compete in this festival on its own merits. Finally, four years later, I found one. Watch it and suffer.

7:00 PM: Druids

Based on a true story! This really happened to Christopher Lambert. Only the mustaches have been changed to protect the innocent.

9:30 PM: Golden Munchie Classic: Battlefield Earth

I received a call recently from the scientologists saying that I should only put nice things in this review. John Travolta was very tall.

Sunday, April 1st

1:00 PM: Viewer's Choice

Proof that democracy works: you bring your own movies and pick the worst one to sit through. Feels like the 2008 election already.

The Viewer's Choice was...a movie we can't really mention here. Let's just say that it proved the old adage - "there should have been only one."

The management has also arranged entertainment for between movies this year, including several bad movie card games and at least one bad video game. Feel free to bring your own bad video games (and the systems to play them) to inflict on everyone else!