Short Pier Productions proudly presents
NORMAL VIEW 8:
IT'S A BAD, BAD, BAD, BAD, BAD, BAD VERSION
April 3 - 5, 2009
4405 Siebel Center
A Tale of Three Filmmakers:
Once upon a time, there were three filmmakers.
The first was named Don, and he dreamed of creating an animated tale
set in the past about a young mouse's separation from his family, and
eventual reunion with them. In the end, he created
An American Tail,
which remains a children's classic to this day.
The second filmmaker was named James, and he wanted to create an epic
romance set during one of the greatest tragedies of the 20th century.
He created the visually stunning
The third filmmaker was a man named Camillo. He looked at Don's film.
He looked at James' film. And then he asked himself: "Wouldn't it be
awesome to make an animated movie about a family of mice on the
Titanic? Oh, and let's throw in a rapping dog." He then made
Titanic: The Legend
This year's NormalView is dedicated to all the Camillos of the world.
Filmmakers who, when faced with the prospect of committing their ideas
and dreams to film, said "screw it" and just remade "High Noon" with
In Chinese, the number 8 is considered to be lucky. You will need all
the luck you can get to make it through:
Normal View 8: It's a Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad Version!
Important note: All showings will be on the fourth floor of the Siebel Center.
Just head on up and look -- if we for some reason have moved, we'll post a sign!
Parking in most University lots is free on the weekends and after 5pm on
Friday; check the signs in each lot for any restrictions. The closest lots
are next to Uni High, or across the street next to the Grainger Library.
- Friday, April 3:
- 7:00 PM: Introductions
(Bad version of: Being ready to go on time)
- 7:30 PM: Schlock Sci-Fi, Then: Horrors of the Red Planet
(Bad version of: The Wizard of Oz and DVD authoring)
- In the distant future (1974), mankind has mastered space travel,
thanks to the discovery that drywall makes the perfect building
material for spaceships. Join Dorothy and her crew of
insipid explorers as they brave space lightning, giant
finned maggots, and alien puppets with glowing red brains on their way to
the final confrontation with the disembodied head of John Carradine.
- 9:00 PM: Schlock Sci-Fi, Now: Transmorphers
(Bad version of: Transformers and The Matrix)
- This execrable "mockbuster" comes to us (no) courtesy of The
Asylum, the studio responsible for such classics as Snakes on a Train
and AVH: Alien vs. Hunter. Despite having a fraction of the budget,
the Asylum once again proves that with a cast of unknowns and off the
shelf graphics software, you can still make a completely terrible
- Saturday, April 4:
- 1:00 PM: Saturday "Morning" Cartoons, Part 1: The Humanoid
(Bad version of: A Folgers commercial and Mega Man)
- When the galaxy's most inept starship pilots find themselves
grounded on the planet Lazeria, trouble is already brewing. The evil
Governor Proud drips with desire for a powerful but forbidden alien
artifact, and he's willing to roast anyone who stands in his way.
It'll be a tall order to stop him; fortunately, The Humanoid is
capable of grande things when pressed.
- 2:00 PM: Saturday "Morning" Cartoons, Part 2: Garaga
(Bad version of: Planet of the Apes)
- This animated classic has it all: a starship captain who makes
Tylor look Responsible, propeller driven spaceships, random adjectives
in the full title ("Hyper Psychic Geo"), barbarian princesses in
battle loincloths, and voice acting apparently provided by whatever
delivery drivers stopped by the studio. They don't make anime like
this any more, and for that, we can be grateful.
- 4:00 PM: Monstrosity: King Kong Escapes
(Bad version of: King Kong and your favorite giant robot movie)
- When Doctor Who - in a rare villainous regeneration - fails in his
plan to mine the highly-radioactive Element X with his robot
Mechani-Kong, he decides simply to use the real Kong instead.
Apparently not having seen the original movie, he kidnaps King Kong,
who promptly Escapes to Tokyo. It's Kong vs. Kong in the obligatory
giant monster fight atop Tokyo Tower!
- 6 - 7:00 PM: Dinner
(Bad version of: Well, nothing really. Dinner's pretty awesome.)
- 7:00 PM: Golden Munchie Nominee:
In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Movie
(Bad version of: The Lord of the Rings)
- If you've seen an Uwe Boll film before, you know what to expect
from this director/producer/screenwriter/professional tax-evader: a
plot and setting more "inspired by" than "based upon" the eponymous
video game, the most wooden dialogue since the Star Wars prequels, and
Kristanna Loken in a ridiculous outfit. If you haven't, then you're
about to discover why his films belong to a genre all their own:
- 9:00 PM: Golden Munchie Classic:
Battle Beyond the Stars
(Bad version of: The Magnificent Seven or The Seven Samurai
- Q. How did Roger Corman, the famously parsimonious producer,
manage to spend $2 MILLION on this extremely terrible Star Wars
- A. Splicing in all the footage of Robert Vaughn from The
Magnificent Seven took an awful lot of scissors and paste.
- Sunday, April 5:
- 1:00 PM: Viewer's Choice
(Bad version of: Zach Miller's Movie Race)
- A Normal View tradition, this is your opportunity to subject a
couple dozen of your friends and acquaintances to the worst dross you
can think of. You bring it, you vote on it, you deal with it.
Viewer's Choice: because the only thing worse than bad choices is no
choice at all.